Alot of stuff has happened since I last updated. One of my friends died in a car accident and it affected alot of people at school and away. Everyone was afraid that her boyfriend wasn't going to come back because he just wanted to take care of their little baby girl. But he's back in school now and he just doesn't seem like himself. This is really hard for me to write about, so sorry if it doesn't really tell you much of anything or show how I really feel.
A more resent thing that's happened is that me and Mel got into a fight about some stuff. Now Sid you might get a little pissed about some of this, just don't freak out on me. k? Ok, so here it is. I came home with Mel on monday really depressed and all because me and my mum had been fighting all weekend, and Tyler's here. Now I don't care that he's here or anything like that, but I didn't know that he was going to be here or anything like that. So I was a little upset by that and completely distant because of how I was feeling. Now here's where things get a bit interesting. I'm sitting on the couch playing with my cat and I look over at where Mel and Tyler are sitting and I see them flirting. I tried to ignore it, but it was a little hard to do since Mel is my girlfriend. So I got up and left the room. I come back into the room about 30 minutes later and they're still flirting and not even paying attention to the fact that there are others in the room. I decided I still couldn't take it and went outside for over an hour. I came inside and I still couldn't take it. I mean, my own girlfriend was so obosrbed in Tyler that she complete ignored that I was there and how I was feeling. My mum noticed and she hardly ever notices anything with me and my life. I know that me and her had decided that it was ok for her to have a boyfriend if she wanted it; but now that we know how I would react with it and we think that she may react the same way if I were to have one, we don't know what we're going to do. I just can't take it. I don't want to lose her. I love her with all my heart, but I don't think that I could take her being with a guy in front of me. I think it would kill me slowly and the same with her if it were me with a guy. And neither one of us wants to end it because we both know that it would be too hard on us, but we don't know what to do. I don't think that I can lose her like this. Right now things are ok, but I don't think that they're going to stay like that. I need up on what to do, but I don't know who to go to. I'm just so scared right now that all I want to do is cry.
Deaths Beloved Community Member 
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