Journal,
Life has been...up and down...
I'm starting to wonder if I'm just scared of what might happen, but I can't know for sure. I'm always lonely and the touch and love I feed off of just isn't there.
I don't think many know how depressed I can really get...when I seem the happiest...I'm probably just covering up. I lay awake in my bed for hours thinking of everything that has gone wrong, the things I have done wrong...and how I can;t do anything right...it 's starting to take it's tole.
I'm a mess...and I can say for sure (Though it may sound cheesy) I have no idea who the hell I am, I don't know what I am trying to be or who I am trying to kid with my smiles.
---
Though I do feed of touch...I mostly want to be alone, I cut my self off from everyone when I am home...the sound of the phone bothers me, I won't answer my cell phone...the only thing I have is the calm that my computer gives me.
I truly have no words to really sum up what I have been feeling lately...
But it's like me to over-react.
I'm probably over reacting when people do little things that hurt me beyond words. There is something...I can't say...that hurts me every night. The Little things my friends say...joking about me, it hurts, I wonder why they are even my friends. I'm an easily hurt person, I must say. The smallest of things are the biggest blows to me. It's safe to say that I'm fragile...really fragile. I bruise very easily.
heart
Life has been...up and down...
I'm starting to wonder if I'm just scared of what might happen, but I can't know for sure. I'm always lonely and the touch and love I feed off of just isn't there.
I don't think many know how depressed I can really get...when I seem the happiest...I'm probably just covering up. I lay awake in my bed for hours thinking of everything that has gone wrong, the things I have done wrong...and how I can;t do anything right...it 's starting to take it's tole.
I'm a mess...and I can say for sure (Though it may sound cheesy) I have no idea who the hell I am, I don't know what I am trying to be or who I am trying to kid with my smiles.
---
Though I do feed of touch...I mostly want to be alone, I cut my self off from everyone when I am home...the sound of the phone bothers me, I won't answer my cell phone...the only thing I have is the calm that my computer gives me.
I truly have no words to really sum up what I have been feeling lately...
But it's like me to over-react.
I'm probably over reacting when people do little things that hurt me beyond words. There is something...I can't say...that hurts me every night. The Little things my friends say...joking about me, it hurts, I wonder why they are even my friends. I'm an easily hurt person, I must say. The smallest of things are the biggest blows to me. It's safe to say that I'm fragile...really fragile. I bruise very easily.
heart
