50 things Draco Malfoy is not allowed to do.. Oh, my.. So hilarious!
1. I am not allowed to eavesdrop.
2. I am not allowed to blame others for my actions.
3. I am not allowed to correct Professors, even if I know I’m right.
4. I am not allowed to walk away when someone is talking to me, because it’s rude.
5. I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuff’s there is no Santa Clause.
6. I am not allowed to step on snails in Care of Magical Creatures just so I can watch Hagrid cry.
7. I am not allowed to taunt Professor McGonagall with catnip.
8. I am not allowed to shave Mrs. Norris
9. I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord.
10. I am not allowed to sing ‘Holding Out For A Hero’ whenever Harry Potter enters the room.
11. I am not allowed to run into the Great Hall screaming ‘There‘s a giant asteroid headed for earth, who’s up for end of the world sex?’, as it causes riots.
12. I am not allowed to call Professor Trelawney insane or delusional, to her face.
13. I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwick’s wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it.
14. I am not allowed to ask Ginny Weasley to see her ‘Chamber of Secrets’ because it gets you slapped.
15. I am not allowed to use my authority as a prefect to ‘confiscate’ my classmates’ things just because I think they should be mine.
16. I am not allowed to eat my housemate’s sweets and blame in on Goyle.
17. I am not allowed to kick people even if I think they deserve it.
18. I am not allowed to tell first years there are free unicorn rides being giving away in the Forbidden Forest.
19. I am not allowed to leave instructions for facial alteration charms on Professor Snapes desk.
20. I am not allowed to leave shampoo either.
21. I am not allowed to magically write ‘Harry Potter Loves the c**k’ over the Quidditch pitch during matches. However, any other time is fair game, as it is the truth.
22. I am not allowed to wear death eater robes to dinner and shout ‘Long live Lord Voldemort’ because I think it’s funny.
23. I am not allowed to refer to Professor Dumbledore as ‘That old guy in a dress’.
24. I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snapes private chambers to watch him sing ‘I will Survive’ in the mirror, as it is disturbing.
25. I am not allowed to ask Professor Lupin about the mating habits of werewolves because his personal life is none of my business.
26. I am not allowed to change the password to the Hufflepuff common room and laugh when they cry because they can’t get in.
27. I am not allowed to charm the Gryffindor portrait to insult them whenever they pass through it.
28. I am not allowed to spell the entrance to the Ravenclaw common room to make everyone who goes threw it forget how to read.
29. I am not allowed to know the entrances to any house dormitories but my own.
30. I am not allowed to have sexual relations with Harry Potter under his invisibility cloak because all though people can’t see us, they can still hear us.
31. I am not allowed to go on and on about how great my a** looks in my Quidditch Robes because no one cares.
32. I am not allowed to command my housemates to tell me I‘m pretty.
33. I am not allowed to draw a smiley face on my arm and tell everyone it’s the new Dark Mark.
34. I am not allowed to walk around the common room naked, even if I think no ones there.
35. I am not allowed to use whipped cream for anything other than its intended purpose.
36. I am not allowed to demand everyone address me as Draco Malfoy God of the Universe.
37. I am not allowed to hide my housemates’ underpants.
38. I am not allowed to tell unattractive people they are forbidden to procreate.
39. I am not allowed to smack people at random and blame it on a seizure.
40. I am not allowed to tell Harry Potter he’s been a bad boy and try to give him a spanking during potions, as this has caused Professor Snape to be ill.
41. I am not allowed to hide Neville Longbottom’s toad then tell him I mistook it for a chocolate frog and ate it.
42. I am not allowed to set people on fire.
43. I am not allowed to tell Hermione Granger she looks less and less like a beaver everyday, even if I think it’s a complement.
44. I am not allowed to barter Quidditch Strategy’s (or anything else) for sexual favors because it is unfair to the students who are horribly unfortunate looking.
45. I am not allowed to draw pornographic stick figures in class.
46. I am not allowed to ask people if they want to see my ‘Basilisk’.
47. I am not allowed to use Colin Creevey’s camera to take ‘inappropriate’ pictures of the quidditch teams without their knowledge or consent.
48. I am not allowed to show up for a lesson looking disheveled and claim I got lost.
49. I am not allowed to put a ‘loss of inhibitions’ potion in the schools supply of pumpkin juice.
50. I am not allowed to throw inept first years off the astronomy tower with a broom maintaining they had to learn how to fly somehow.
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