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Okay so I'm frustrated. Over things beyond my control. And I'm frustranted becuase I cannot handle these things the way I wish. And that is frustrating.

1- I cannot draw (Semi-controllable with hand-crippling practice)
2- I am not getting responses I wish for (From peoplee mostly, I want to say something but have been turned away before I could get my point across)
3- I'm frustrated
4- I want to punch a puppy. In the face.

I'm glad I sound like a terrible person now. Maybe someone will notice it, and listen, when I do something not of the ordinary.
I guess I'm not as nice as I pretend to be.

I need to draw HARD. Until my HAND FALLS OFF, I swear I am not improving at all. And you know what I want to draw? Something I would never have planned on practicing, not in a million years. Furries. Yes that's right I said it on this little un-read jornal, I want to draw that too. I just want to draw. ><

Some things that were... in my past.. not very far into it but stuck in good enough I'll never forget, have been gnawing at me. So I tried to take some action, catch up on some people, but noo. No, they do not want to hear my words no nuh-uh.
The other half is I haven't taken enough initiative to catch up with the one person who tried to catch up with me. I was so ecstatic that they'd contacted me too. -Bam!- ... For the like 5th day, now, "I plan to call tomorrow." ... Darnit.

Guh, frustrating.

I think I'll just become a hermit, do so many drugs I'll never remember even my own name ever again, and like die.
-Sigh-
Yesterday's high is today's blues I suppose.