We're doing this small family get together thing this evening. I rather hate it. It's not because I do not love my family. I do love them, I'm even aware that I have the obligatory sort of love with many of them. But the problem is I feel so alienated with them.
I have nothing to tell them, I'm still that little girl they all knew and thought something was wrong with because she didn't speak. But how can I speak when I have nothing to talk about? How can I talk with them when I feel like I'm far across the room even when I'm right next to them.
People call it being anti-social but really is it anti-social when you try but you feel like you're an entire world away from everyone else? Or is that just the label people give those of us who have a problem communicating like they do?
Some people would laugh and make jokes about these things, saying it's stupid that I am 'saying' this here instead of talking to someone about it. But even these people are aware as they laugh and joke about people who can't say what they want to, who rather just get it out on things like this, they are aware that sometimes even they feel this way. They just handle it differently.
Lady Bern Community Member 
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