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	░▒▓❀Stop! Wait! You can not escape! ❀▓▒░ There's nothing here. Life is but a play, and all the people in it, actors.

	Just **** it.
	Just **** it.


throws in towel So, I give up. All this drama with Nick, I give up. Three months, that's how long we were together. And that was the shortest relationship i've ever had, aside from off-on ones with Greg (lives with us). And yet, despite how short it was, it was one of the most ridiculously dramatic relationships i've ever had. Emphasis on the 'ridiculous'. It feels like all we ever did was argue about just... stupid ****** things, my god. ****** exhausting. And not only that. Despite it being my shortest relationship, it was incredibly close. I mean, I let down alot of walls - forced down alot of walls, and shared parts of myself with Nick that usually I would wait more than a year to tell to anybody. At the moment, I can't say I don't regret having told Nick alot of those things... But to be honest, I felt Nick was prying the information out of me. I've never been made to feel that way with anybody else before. Is it Nick's fault? I don't know. I think so... I think nick was rushing too much. Hah, however funny that sounds. Or maybe it's my fault for moving too slow? Is there a problem with moving slowly, though? I'm still so baffled as to how I managed to be so cold to Nick that I ended up only hurting and forcing Nick to hate me... I never lied to Nick. I did everything I could to not give Nick stress, and just wanted Nick to be happy. ((Good intentions - bad methods = failure, though)) What else was I suppose to do? Alright, I was absent more than usual... but was being away for non-malicious reasons really terrible enough to gain hatred from Nick? I guess it was. Hng, I just gave up. Three months was an incredibly short period of time. And not the best time in my life for any kind of romance in the first place - but that's not Nick's fault. I just... the drama was ****** ridiculous. I don't know what the ****** else I could have done to have 'been a better boyfriend'. I would understand if we had been together for even six months. But three!? Spawning a deep, perfect relationship in a window of three months just feels like an unbelievable task to me. What I hate most is the image Nick will now keep of me. I understand all of Nick's reasoning, I really do. But I just can't fight him anymore. I refuse to. And I just disagree with the conclusion/image Nick has drawn of me. But again, I refuse to defend myself from Nick. I wish we could have remained friends, at least... edaaz · Mon Aug 04, 2008 @ 02:31am · 0 Comments


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