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its still early where i am.. i woke up at 3 am because of a nightmare and havent slept sence and my friend, kyo, friend has commited suicide... im placing out a rose for him tonight... but this triggers so many memories for me it scares me.... i got over my depression back in may or so this year, i was like depressed for 8 months, black, chains, daggers, everything... i still have the dagger in my room from then and i bring it out now and again to look at... its rather pretty bronze with a incarved flame into it and it fits perfectly into my hand cuz its small. but only a few days ago i found myself playing with my swiss army knife in social studies class at skool, i was sittin next to a couople of friends but they must of not notticed when i took it out... i didnt even, i dont remmeber takin it out! just the next thing i knew i was sitting there, watching my knife run over the palm of my hand under the desk, it scared me... i dont remmeber doing it really... i know i was going threw my purse but for the knife? nah, for a pink pen -_- ((gota love neon pink)) and now this happens... and well it just isnt the best of morrnings... i really hope i dont find myself doing that again in any class, or anywhere, im not plannin to kill myself or harm myself... i have poeple that care for me and a boyfriend that loves me, sure im not the smartest kid in skool but i get fair marks for my atempts, nothin to kill over... life is hard but sometimes its best to become stronger...And one thing to add on to the list is my best friend just broke up with her bf, i thought it was best on the situation and how she felt but now shes prolly depressed...i wish the best to her and her Xbf to be strong and not do anything to harm themselves... i hope Josh is happy with his desion of no longer staying around... i know i am with staying here, i love you Nick, and all my friends heart
 playwithfire · Sat Nov 06, 2004 @ 06:08pm · 3 Comments |
