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Life is just way to damn confsueing for words now. I'm 18, treted like I'm 5. I'm in love, but my love can't be expressed. I'm a college student, but still in highschool. I'm lieing to myself yet it feels true. What the hell is going on here anyway? No one seems to understand just how much I'll miss them all. I miss most of my friends already. I want to just grab my friends and famliy and tell them everything that has been on my mind for as long as I can remeber. What's wrong with me? I want to be perfect for them all, but I know I can't becuase they are all differnt and I am only one person. My love for them seems to back fire on me everytime I try to show it. I've given up so much of me for them. I've buried myself in lies that become true in the long run. I'm always on edge, just wanting someone to find me in this lybirth I've built for myself. But I know that can never happen. I won't let anyone in, and there's no way for me to get out. I just can't tell the tuth now. I can't tell Juan, Matt, Cris, Bri, Brendon, Mom, Dad, Dani, Moody, all of them...I want to so badly but things have not been the same since I started highschool. I'm hoping that this new start in college will help me. Even though my past will still be there, at least I know my furture will be able to start over again. This is a new start, and I refuse to ruin what I have