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I'm ******** crying my eyes out and for what? Because my mom likes to talk to her boyfriend more then me? That's so pathic of me...I'm so stupid. I mean, why the hell should I care anyway? I'm almost 18! Pretty soon I'm going to be out in the world, living her dreams while she's at home talking to the only man I know that never hurt her. So why the hell should I be so jelous? Why should I care if, she askes me to go out with her and he calls? Or me justing wanting to talk but she's busy alraedy talking to him? Yeah yeah. It's not a big deal. I"m just crying cause I have nothing better to do. Yeah, that's it. Just crying cause I have nothing better to do. Nothing bettter to see or hear....Oh God who am I kidding...I'm crying because I want my mom back. I want to be able to talk to her again you know? No one seems to understand that, even though she makes me mad, she's still my mom, and the one person I want the most to understand me. Cause that's what moms are suppose to do, ya know? They're suppose to listen to you when you're upset, or when you're super happy or when you just want to chat about whatever. They're suppose to be there for you, and my mom is there for me. And you know, I want to tell her. I want to tell her so badly. I want to go up to her and say, "Hey mom. Listen to me. I'm still here and I'm still you daugther." But I can't. I can't bring myself to take away the one thing that is helping her out of her depression. Even if it means I can't have her anymore. I guess...I guess that's what I'm expected to do anyway....So I'm just going to sit here and cry and cry until I can't cry anymore. I'm going smile tomorrow and act like nothing ever happen. I'm going to be normal, because that's all I can be right now. Not myself, not crazy and wild...Just another normal teen with problems and issues....
 LadyxGemini · Wed Mar 05, 2008 @ 04:57am · 2 Comments |
