From the moment i woke up this morning my brother has insulted me, ******** with me, called me names... I only get about 4-5 minuets peace at any given time with him around!
I wake up and he's playing a game, i go to the damn bathroom and come out to make breakfast and sit in the recliner... he starts to pick on me making comments to mom how i suck at this game. Taunts me about how he's a higher rank then me and how little time it took him to get better at the game. I give as good i got, i insulted him back and mom told us to stop but he kept going and i returned fire till mom got mad and i stopped but he kept pushing even when i had gotten up and got on the computer.
I got about an hour of time on the computer playing with my friends and being happy before he tells me i can play the game. So i go over to play and he tells me i can't get onto the save file i had started the 1st time he let me play and i go on it anyway. He gets a little pissed but i just played going threw the obstacle course. He keeps making comments on what or how i should play the game and tells me that if i don't get a certain amount of time he's gonna take the game away and him and mom get into an argument as i get to the end of the course at 1.25 or something like that better than what i had the 1st time i had played the game. He starts to brag about how he got way better then me. I told him to shut up and we kept arguing threw out the rest of the course till i got to the shooting range.
At the shooting range i had told him to shut the ******** up and let me play but he keeps making suggestions on how i should play and mom is getting mad by this time cause I'm cussing and he's picking on me. She threatens to take the game away and he calms for just a few moments and i keep shooting at the targets before he pipes up telling me how bad i suck cause i keep missing an' i keep telling him to shut the ******** up and mom is still shouting at me to stop cussing and at him to leave me alone. By the time i get to the advanced coarse he's trying to take the control from me and show me how it's done but i don't let go and just keep playing trying to ignore his talk of how bad i suck and mom is trying to give me helpful pointers on how to play.
Finale when i get to the testing rounds he's tugging on the damn controller telling me to go prone on the ground to get a better score. I tell him to shut the ******** up and the next thing i know he's trying to take the controls but i don't let go and we end up unplugging the controller and we start to argue over me coming back to play the game. I told him no, ******** you I'm sick of the game and go back to the computer.
He gets mad and comes over to tell me to get back on the game how he's not going to keep talking if i go back. I push him away accidentally hitting him at the same time he calls me a whinney b***h telling me im worse then some of the kids in his school and then he walks off and around 4mins later he comes over to ask what im doing and i he punches me in the shoulder. I scream at him and call him all kinds of names making mom shout at me to stop cussing but i keep on going till he's shouting and dad comes out of his room to see whats going on. By this time i had gone back to the computer and turned my music up all the way to drown everyone out. Dad looks at me and i start to cry, Cory gets mad and asks mom why im crying like a big baby and she tells him why but he keeps on talking to me till i scream at him again and he backs off and i was still crying a few minuets after the fight even when i was talking to Dave and he was trying to calm me down. Though it wasn't helping like he wanted it too and even now that i've stopped crying i can't bring my self to feel any emotions...
I always shut down after fights with Cory, my emotions stop and I'm just mindlessly doing what i always do.
Why did god do this too me.....? I have been a good girl... i do my chores, i do what my mom and dad tell me too, i don't steal, i don't kill, i try to be nice to everyone but he never does anything for me in this perpetual hell hole! WHY DO I HAVE TO LIVE LIKE THIS! I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG!! NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS s**t ON THEIR OWN! I just want to be left alone by him... i just want to be normal.... I'm tired of crying, I'm tired of fighting for every little thing i do.. I'm tired of explaining my self to him as though he was my father... I just want to die.... but i know i can't... My mom would be heart broken...and i know i have something great to do someday so i stick around and take the abuse like a rag doll and i never fight back... slowly letting my self be drawn down into a deep dark depression of hate and sorrow with no way out other then death.
Delicross Community Member 
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