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My professor climbed Magdalen tower with me yesterday. The winding stairs were very cramped and I almost tumbled down into the darkness. But then at the top, all of Oxford revealed itself like some miracle in the cold air. I thought my legs were about to break.

Later, in the evening, I wandered around the old city wall. It was very foggy and all I could make out were some gothic parapets with some dim lights. I never felt so alone.

Then reading Bloch's study on feudalism late into the night, I came into terms with solitude.