Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Bridge
I'm just a screw up.
Nothing but a failure.
Can't say anything right.
Can't so anything right.
What if I just leave?
Is anyone going to miss me?
What if I died?
Do I want to die?
I'm so afraid.
Feel sick, shaking.
Frightened of my own emotions.
My hands are trembling.
Why did I say those things?
Can't I keep my mouth shut?
But it hurt.
So much kept locked inside.
Can't tell anyone about all of it.
Or could I?
Who's going to understand?
Does mom?
Someone at school?
Am I becoming suicidal?
No, no not that.
Not yet anyway.
No.
Not ever.
I can't change things dead.
Have to live.
Apologise for what I've done.
Was it my fault?
To much anger kept inside.
Like a bomb.
Nestled next to my heart.
Someone who understands.
This pain that eats at my soul.
My heart feels like it's dying.
But I can't let it.
Have to stay strong.
Keep going.
Make things better.
Strive for it.
Because if I don't.
No one else is going to cross the bridge.
Fill the gap.
Between two people.
Is it possible?
Yes.
I can do it.
Have to do it.
And to do so.
I have to let some out.