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I Hurt So much.
I Feel like I Have to carry it all to the . Take Everything . All Of the pain and Misery to the end . Never letting anyone into how much I Really hurt inside . How Much I Hurt . I Cant let you feel the way I Feel. I Cant let my pain touch anyone else. They should be happy and Never feel this pain I Have . I have to take it all the Huge Wait Put on to me . To Be what you want to feel what you want . Not to Cry When you tell me what a wreck I am .Not to cry when you dont tell me goodbye. Not to cry when you dont tell me you love me and mean it . Was their ever a night you lay and not hate me ? Have you always thought of me as you wrong and never your right? Have you never once thought I was a good in your life ? Was I Always the bad one? Did I ever hurt you to make you put me through what you have put me through? To Cry Inside and Never Let it out to anyone ? To Let myself Die a little More inside Everytime you yell at me ? Everytime you hate me And show it ? Was their ever a day in your life you could look at me and smile of pure joy and not remember all of the horrible things I have done in my life? Was their ever a day you didn't look at me with disgust ? Am I Really that Wrong? Wrong enough to be hurt this much ? To Deserve everything I have gone through in continuation? I See the same nightmare over and over each passing day . As your Hate grows for me . I Can't remember a Day I was perfect for you . I wanted to be the good for you . I Just Can't See to be it . You already have the two goods you need . The One Good Who Constantly Needs your attention and the other that Has Never done a wrong. The other so Infant It could never possibly have done a wrong either . The other Who Honestly Does need the Attention Because It can not help itself . The other who has gone out to do it on its own Haveing done wrong and Yet Forgiven for unlike me. I Have never complained of my hurt . The Unessicary Hurt you put on me other then the one you can yourself put on me. How Much Hurt do I Have to endure to make you see I Will always love you through and through . Even though You make me Miserable . Even though I smile to cover my hurting even though I smile In hopes you will break one Back to Me. I Do what you ask and Yet I get yelled at fo having not done it On My own. I try to make you happy and I can't .I have forgivin you both for everything and Yet you seem to not Notice or want to Accept the wrong you have done to me . You Wont accept your mistakes only Me as a mistake. I Can never Truely make you happy can I ? I Can never Truley make you Love me Can I? I Can Never Be what you want . I Refuse to be just Like you . I Refuse to Let you try and Turn Me heartless to be you . Though I will love you . Though you dont care. I will . When you Die . The hurt will still be here, But I will still love you . Hopeing you will love me then ....
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