Ok, I've gotten some requests to post the rest of that story... I'll just warn ya'll, it's done in a different style and may be kinda hard to follow. Here are the next two installments: parts II and III. Hope you like!!!
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KateMac
II. Cherry Dreams
You open the closet door. You stare at the shelf directly in front of you, at eye level. Countless numbers of bottles and pills sit there, quietly, innocently. Not harming anything. You grab one and open it. You pour a good amount into your hand and stare at them for a while. Don't do this, you think to yourself. You pop one in your mouth and swallow. You know what's going to happen. You do this 40 times. You know this is going to hurt. You put the bottle back on the shelf. Then you spot something else. NO. Your conscience screams at you to stop right here, right now. You grab a bottle that has red liquid in it. Robin, don't do this. It's one of those prescription drugs from CVS. The label has your name on it. It reads, "O'DONNEL, ROBIN." That's your name, isn't it? That's your bottle, isn't it? Stop. You open the childproof lid and gaze down into the hole. The smell of cherry fills your nose. You love that smell, and smell is 75 percent of taste. You slowly wrap your lips around the nozzle and tilt your head back. Sticky and sweet medicine flows into your mouth and down your throat. You love how it tastes. A moment or two passes and you gag. You pull the bottle from your mouth and put the lid back on. You notice that the bottle is half full. Or half empty. You also notice the "Warning: May cause dizziness," and "Take two tablespoons every six hours as needed." As needed. You needed this, right? Right?! Don't act so confused. You know exactly what you're doing. As always. Robin, what have you done?
An hour later you can't feel your toes or fingers. Your thoughts are incomprehensible. Your head feels like a balloon that's attached to your body by a very thin string. The whole room is spinning. The bed is looking really good right now. You lie down and realize that it's your head that's spinning, not the room. You lazily glance at the clock. It says 6:17. Or is that 6:30? You can't tell because your eyes won't focus right. You decide to close them.
You wake up to a cool hand on your forehead and a feminine, "Honey, do you feel alright?"
You manage a growl. Suddenly, your stomach feels funny - like you swallowed a huge cotton ball. You get up to go to the bathroom but as soon as you do, your head spins madly and you fall to the floor. Gripping the bed for support, you struggle to the sink. You run some cold water and submerse your face in. A temporary moment of relief, but then more fuzzy dizziness. You dry your face and work your way back to the bed.
"Mom, I think I ate something funny," but you can't remember what.
The next thing you know, something's beeping your ear, teasing your already throbbing head. Your reflexes kick in and you knock your alarm to the floor. You roll over and look down at it and read 6:30 in bright, neon numbers. All the memories of the previous night flash through your mind.
s**t.
You actually made it through the night.
Now you just have to manage the rest of your life.
Oh ******** it all, you think, and fall out of bed, crawling to the shower.
III. Of Broken-hearted Boyfriends
Hey Robin,
Ok - what the bloody hell is wrong with you?!! Do you realize just how close you probably came to dying?! You're lucky you didn't just stop breathing in your sleep!!! All of the pain medication could have made a blood vessel in your heart, or your brain, explode!!! Do you even know how much that cough syrup could ******** with your liver?!
Of course you do. Because this the SECOND time I've had to explain it to you!!!
Alright, sorry I yelled. I'm just worried about you. I am extremely glad though that you admitted to overdosing last night to me... you have no idea how much it means that you trust me this much.
'K, I know you're having a rough time right now, what with keeping your grades up and your parents fighting, and I am SO sorry! It's gotta hurt so much; I don't know. I do know that you're having trouble dealing with all this pain, but you have got to realize what you're doing every time you overdose - you're gambling with your life. A life that's not rightfully yours to gamble with. Think about your little brother. He wouldn't understand his older sister dying. You are the only positive, certain, constant thing he has. And the same thing goes for your parents. Sure, your dad's a jerk, but you're the only thing keeping them from a divorce right now. Do you really want to ruin their lives by ripping them apart?! And what about Michelle and Kelly? Michelle wouldn't know what to do; she'd probably be pushed to suicide as well. And Kelly - Kelly would blame herself, and you know she would. She would question why she couldn't stop you, why she wasn't strong enough. Do you really want to put that on her?! And what about everyone at church? Jesus Christ, your death would have a ripple effect. Think about Anna, Mike, Zach, Ernest, Mike Knight, Addison, Ashley, Zoe, Leigh Daniel, Keagan... the list goes on and on. Do you really want to let those people down?
And for God's Sake, would you even think about the hell you're putting me through?! If you died, I'd be left crushed and motionless. I wouldn't be able to ******** BREATHE!! Whatever will I have to live, to push on, would be stripped away. And I'd be betrayed. Again. By the one person who promised she NEVER would. If you left me, Robin, you'd break that promise you made. And you'd break me. Could you really do that to me? Please Robin, I'm begging you. Please don't just LEAVE me here in this god-forsaken school without a shed of hope to cling on to. Please Robin. I love you.
Always,
Sammy
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