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So I finally signed up for the ACT. It turns out the next testing date was a month later than I had expected, but that's alright. It gives me more time to practice. Which is good, since I can now go out and take every single ACT prep test out there and find out whether those three perfect sections on my last practice were luck or skill.

The perfect score...wow, it used to be something we just imagined, but after taking that practice test it seems like it might actually be within my reach. I have the number 36 dancing through my brain right now. After all, what am I good at if not multiple choice? If I get that score, I'll have scholarships coming out of my ears. I won't have to worry about college---when you get the perfect score, colleges fight over you, right? But more than that, it's the last amazing thing I can do in my high-school years. When I was a kid, I was sure I was going to be top of the class, valedictorian, the definition of "straight-A student". Unfortunately, things didn't turn out as planned. I ruined my chances at that when I got a B in freshman year gym. GYM!! Some time around then, most of my motivation left me. It still kind of hurts when I have to tell people who knew me in grade school that no, no, I'm not really that brainy kid anymore...yes, I'm getting decent grades...but no, none worth valedictorian...no, I'm not kidding you, I blew it freshman year...yeah...

With this test, this perfect score, I can get that recognition. This 36 isn't just an idle goal. It's a last shot at a dream.

*sigh* I feel like such a geek, being so overdramatic about how I couldn't be the biggest nerd in the school. After all, I'm slowly coming to the realization that I'd rather be happy than the world's biggest brain. Besides, I can talk a big game now, but the real test is sure to drag me down a few levels. I HATE standardized testing. They've managed to take my one biggest strength---multiple choice---and surround it in such an atmosphere of seriousness, of finality, that it's impossible not to get stressed out over it. That's probably just me, though. Nothing freaks me out more than legal/official mumbo-jumbo. It makes me feel like I'm going to screw up some minor thing and they'll take my test away. It's unreal. It's just a stupid multiple-choice exam, but they have to cloak it with so many layers of pressure: monotone test proctors reading scripted instructions, the stress of a time limit that always seems so much shorter than it really is, things like "DO NOT WRITE IN THIS SPACE" in all capital letters. Are they going out of their way to be intimidating? I know I'm easily spooked, but good God! How do they expect normal high school seniors to face this sort of thing, knowing their score will determine their college which will determine the rest of their life?

It's enough to make someone forget you can do it all over, improve your score...but who really wants to deal with all that over and over? As for me, I'm running out of time. I'm already so far behind on my college preparations. I should have taken this test last year, but I got cocky and thought I could put it off. I don't have many chances to retake this damn thing, so I have to make it count. Wish me luck!...no...wait...that'll jinx me...will it?...GAH!