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no one ever knew.
no one knows why i hated him so much
why every time i saw his face, i'd get that churning feeling in my gut that makes me sick
why each time i heard his name, i clenched my fist and grinded my teeth together
why every time he spoke;
with that annoying mono-tone voice of his,
i wanted to kill him
no on knows why he made me feel so angry, except me
i'm not stupid;
i knew i could never have him
i knew that no matter how hard i tried,
how much i'd change myslef, or
how much i lied, i would never win his heart
and he know that no matter how much i'd look away from him or
how many times i'd pretend he wasn't there or
how much i winced at his words
that i caould never care about him
that i never thought about him late at night
that i never wrote about him, sung about him, talked about him
that i never wanted him.
i knew that he knew i hated him
and yet, he still talked
he still looked at me as he passed by
he still cared about me,
a girl who hates him because she can't have him.