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My friend just told me his story behind himself. It was rather strange.. Started out with 'i hear voices in my head' and course... Figure that? I was stare Riiiiiiight....... lets see where this leads, maybe theres a portal to uranus in his backward. But i listened.. and the more i did, the more scared i became. not because hes crazy... hell, hes very much not. But because he had a way to explain a few things i've never seen before and fit it, i made perfect sense of them. What he said changed me a bit in my way of thought. He said he had 13 voices in his head... The most had merged into one so there was 3 left. I wont go into details about what they were called but they were his normal name, his title, and his RPing name they were named after. Each had a different outlook mainly... And he eaither put the 'Mask' or mainly put a voice in control when he needed it. One was cold and emotionless, the other had emotions but hated it and the last one used his emotions greatly. Mainly a conflect between them all. You know the feeling when your so mixed up in how to feel? Its a conflect between your inner voices, or masks fighting for control. I know i feel, quite often unfortently, the hate for my emotions yet knowing that it'll be nothing without them so i respect and want them. Its rather a pain in the a** to Not want something yet to needcrave it. Like a drug... Gives you a place to hide as well these.. Masks. I dont know how many i have, but i know i only have maybe 2 voices in my head. but outside.. my friends voices, my parents... I cant help but mold to them. As if they give me yet another mask to try and take control of me or one to wear infront og them so i act properly. Thats what he just did to me... handed me a mask. something new to look out on, new eyes to see out of. this one is a bit like his more controling one... The king, you can say mainly. Which is the one who has no emotions and plays with life before tossing it around... Its actaly how i feel right now, its creepy. And to top it off he said i remind him of a younger verson of him with the masks.. he said it with the split name... so both versons of him togeather i am. Kinda creepy, i wonder if i'll become more like him, event hough hes younger?... He has been through things i havent abd prolly picked up things i dont know. All i know this emotionless Mask i'll be using more often... I still have my emotions thankfuly, cuz thats just me, can never rid it... just hide it.
 playwithfire · Wed Apr 06, 2005 @ 02:46am · 1 Comments |
