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its been s**t lately, certain ppl that r supposed to understand refuse to, always only thinking of themselves, sorry, but i tried to explain many times, just wouldnt listen, even warning but just wouldnt listen so i blocked him. i dont need ppl who dont listen to me then b***h at me , i have to go over the same thing 1000 times and still they just dont understand, only thinking of themselves. y me, y, y me, wahhh, id trade in a damn day, i may have rough spots but im a good friend more then im not, just when my stress level is above normal, i swear im gonna die of high blood preasure.
today is catrinas bday, turns 3 at exactly 8 45pm, how do i know?? i was looking at the clock the whole time lmao, i was shaking so badly i wasnt aloud to hold her, the overdosed me on that painkiller crap going into my spine, which to me when they were spinal tapping i think its called im prob wrong, that was the scariest part, the only time i cried. i couldnt move my legs or lower body, oh and they wash u after, how embarasing!! they were like ok role over, and i freaking tried so she helped and i held onto thebed arm thing with my life, she was kinda like a nurse hatchet, ugh, blood everywhere, ecause i have a c section, i have a 6 inch scar lol,i dint care. but when i heard her cry for the first time it was like, i was in awe, and she sounded like a diff baby then all babies, so angelic. i heard that cry for 5 days, no sleep, well she only cried when i put her down. no sleep for 5 days. they let me go home, i was back in there 6 hours later or more, having seizure like fits 104.7 fever, almost doed again...that temp your brain starts to shut down, thats y u have to have lil hour naps even if ppl say they dont sleep, they do, short ones or theyd b in the hospital because the body is shuts down, worst ever feeling, stoped breathing crawled off the couch blaiming my sister for telling them (something bout what type i was, which i was out of my mind at the time) trying to breath and not being able to is scary as hell with shakes that could make a car move tho the ambulance took me. it was cold shakes. my body cant take much anymore, like i cant stay up all night and b fine but tired the next day, i have to sleep. is that age or just my body being weak?
i miss Brandon, he left on thursday and wont b home till monday-ish and didnt tell me where he was going...blah.
i might have to go to my dads today, which sucks, i really need to be around ppl who make me feel stupid cuz im not good enough. im treated like s**t compared to my lil brother and my older sister. my dad bought them a ******** house, as in my sister and my bro has everything he could want, i get nothing they even lied to me when they talked about the house. kates bf puts every1 down, i think im gonna crack today and just scream at everyone then leave by taxi. i get treated like a kid when all i do is play a video game or two with my lil bro, yea ive never seen some1 my age do that, BS! oh and kate is just so great because shes a manager at a damn tim hortens, thats a donut shop popular in canada where i live. big flipping deal, oh shes suffering, sorry ppl she goes along with her bfs oppinions never sticking up for any of her damn gfamily. hes more then 2 faced, he talks about every1 even the higher ppl which means my dad and marlene.
and yet i have more thing to stress me out on top of all his s**t. im in a box thats slowly getting smaller and smaller. life is too complicated....
well thats enough for now, today better be a good day...
 lil_qt_cat1 · Sun May 20, 2007 @ 01:33pm · 4 Comments |
