Everyday, Every god forsaken day! everyday I hear how my friends are in pain, I hear about how their love is failing, how they hurt and yearn for the ones they love. I feel guilt and tirment that I can not make their pain go away. I cry at night with selfhatred.
What kind of friend am I!?! I can not help them! I can not help me! That is a sin far greater then any other. How do I atone for their pain? Why can I not bear it as well? Why am I not stronger? WHY?!?! How can I laugh, how can I smile? Why!?! HOW?!
My dearest friend is stoic beyond words. I love and respect him so much. More then I think he knows. When I hear of how his girlfriend treats him and of how he wants nothing more then to rescue her from where she is I weep! I can do nothing. NOTHING! I hate myself so much for my weakness. Why can't I help him. WHY?!?! Why can't I jelp anyone?
I am useless. I can't help those I see in pain, my words are truely hollow. They mean nothing without the actions I long to put behind them. To draw my friends close in loving hugs. They deserve so much more then what I see.
What do I do? Do I give in? Do i crawl away and die with the dishonor I brought myself with my weakness? Do I pull that knife across my wrist and end it all? No. I don't think they would like that at all.
I will stand strong for Marius. I will stand strong for Miles. And for Mandy whom I have never met. I will try harder. Till my last breath I swear by the gods of old and the gods of new that I will try harder!
What kind of friend am I!?! I can not help them! I can not help me! That is a sin far greater then any other. How do I atone for their pain? Why can I not bear it as well? Why am I not stronger? WHY?!?! How can I laugh, how can I smile? Why!?! HOW?!
My dearest friend is stoic beyond words. I love and respect him so much. More then I think he knows. When I hear of how his girlfriend treats him and of how he wants nothing more then to rescue her from where she is I weep! I can do nothing. NOTHING! I hate myself so much for my weakness. Why can't I help him. WHY?!?! Why can't I jelp anyone?
I am useless. I can't help those I see in pain, my words are truely hollow. They mean nothing without the actions I long to put behind them. To draw my friends close in loving hugs. They deserve so much more then what I see.
What do I do? Do I give in? Do i crawl away and die with the dishonor I brought myself with my weakness? Do I pull that knife across my wrist and end it all? No. I don't think they would like that at all.
I will stand strong for Marius. I will stand strong for Miles. And for Mandy whom I have never met. I will try harder. Till my last breath I swear by the gods of old and the gods of new that I will try harder!
