• i was just sitting here thinking
    about life and the past
    and not enjoying it
    i can usually see the beauty if all faults
    ----------------------------------------
    In a mansion full of doors
    each door with a different design
    every decor carved by one child

    she locks one door
    to be left unvisited by all who go into the house
    anyone who inquires about it is shunned away

    the child leaves
    in hope to forget
    what lies behind the antique door

    its been years since
    the child who is now a lady
    has seen that wing of the house

    even though the lady is older
    she has the same curiosity as when a child

    the lady stumbles upon an antique fashioned door
    It is the only door with the sepia decor
    it is locked up
    this door is the only locked one in the old house

    with curiosity she looks for the key
    But she doesn't remember the old saying
    the curiosity killed the cat
    with all her stubbornness she tries to open the door
    little does she remember why she secured it so well

    she finds the key that fits
    and opens the groaning door
    it's groan resembles a warning
    but she does not heed to the its alarming warning

    she enters the little stuffed room
    she looks around

    Negatives are all that remain
    piles of rolls of film
    all gathered around
    building dust in the attic

    cobwebs reside in every crevice
    but no spiders live there any longer

    she quietly walks over to a small window
    she clears the dust and webs from it

    afterward she ventures to a pile of film
    sitting onto the floor
    dust particles stir in the air

    delicately she lifts a roll
    and holds it up to the light
    on the roll are two smiling faces

    tears stream down her face
    the roll drops to the floor
    for the lady finally noticed the tears

    she remembers the memories
    the feeling of needles shoots through her fragile heart
    painfully she remembers it all

    running for the door she trips on more film
    all of the past surrounds her
    she starts to feel suffocated
    the lights go out

    she thought she could run
    little did she know
    you cant escape yourself
    ------------------------------------------------------------
    this is the poem that randomly needed to be wrote
    i guess that is the words i needed to get off my shoudlers
    lmao
    i feel somewhat better now
    to answer my question
    i do not believe there is any beauty in my negatives
    they were locked away for a reason