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Waking up to a cellphone vibe,
A fatigue I certainly can describe,
Grandma on the other side
Given to dad, and back to sleep I tried.
When on that bleary morning,
In my head rang clear warning
As dad walked in and sat
And I knew it was for no chitchat.
A simple question, “When’s work?”
“At three,” I knew I would never shirk.
Then came the news so dark and dreary,
“Your cousin died,” it made me oh so weary.
Why’d you have to leave me?
Why’d you have to go?
Crying hard, and crying fast,
I looked deep into my past.
My body soon went on autopilot,
My head stuck in a cloudlet.
Soon on the phone, a man named Will
Soon asked me if I felt ill
“No,” said I, “My cousin just died”
Bless him, he dared not pry.
In fact, he replied, “I’ll tell the guys”
To my love, I really tried not to cry,
As I uttered the same words
As saying it again, my reality altered.
I was counting on forever,
Now I’ll never know.
Quick as a flash, my love was here,
And true to his nature, caught ev’ry tear.
Put on a movie, and took a nap,
I was so still in his lap.
Feeling lost, feeling hopeless,
So lost I could simply cuss,
I felt the need for a stiff drink,
To take away the time I had to think.
I considered buying a cigarette,
Any thing so I could forget.
Trying to hold all of the pieces,
Though I’m falling like ashes.
It’s like I’m looking from a distance,
Standing in the background.
All of a sudden, the day is gone,
I felt the need to cry anon.
Again and again, I tried
To keep the tears back, yet cried.
A headache and nothing more,
So what was all the effort for?
I never even got to say goodbye,
And therein lays the reason I cry.
It’s hard to think of 18 years,
All of my hopes, and all of my fears,
This one being the worst of all,
Was when my cousin would fall.
This can’t be happening to me,
This is just a dream.
And though in a better place,
I won’t forget her face.
I won’t forget her broken body,
What was, and what may be.
…This can’t be happening to me…
Now the struggle begins for me,
To let the bad times be.
To stay in this life happy,
When inside is filled with misery.
…This is just a dream…
Her memory will always live on,
In a poem, or even a song.
Aurora, I love thee still,
Never forget you, I will.

- Title: This is Just a Dream
- Artist: Azaurmyth
- Description: It's hard to think how a few words ring hard and true. Particularly when something goes wrong. I woke up today to my cell phone. It was Grandma asking for dad. I didn't realize it was so she could tell him my cousin died the day before. So right before I went back to sleep, I found out. This contains lyrics from Carrie Underwood's "Just a Dream". It's my journey through today, of course, artistically skipping a few details. I hope you enjoy it. Even though death isn't pleasant for most.
- Date: 07/26/2009
- Tags: just dream death
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