• so here i am again.
    sitting here.
    stariring at them.
    they all know.
    &they all seem so happy.
    it's like watching a t.v. show.
    i'll smile too.
    so that i don't ruin their good moods.
    i'll fake a laugh.
    &they'll think they know the truth.
    that i'm happy.
    but inside i'm so confused.
    life's so messed up now.
    &i want to know how.
    how did this happen.
    &why to me?
    what did i do.
    to deserve all that i'm being put through?
    what hurt have i caused?
    the feelings that are raging inside.
    if you were feeling them, you'd be terrified.
    they threaten my life.
    day after day.
    my sanity's in question.
    but i dare not say.
    the things that i'm thinking.
    for if i do.
    how will you treat me?
    if your eally knew?
    would you take me to a shrink?
    or put me on meds?
    would you even care?
    would you want me dead?
    because what is inside.
    yes some do feel.
    but what's inside.
    it would make you feel ill.
    it's just not normal.
    to feel this way.
    it's just not right.
    to want to end your life.
    every single day.