Waterfall

• Artist: Jararo
• Description: Basically, it's basically a girl and a lot of water, kinda hard to explain. Anyway it's my first so I hope you like it ^_^
• Date: 05/17/2009
• Tags: waterfall

A hollow cave,
The loud and shrill screams:
A waterfall plunges in mist,
A long white river sliding through.
She sees, nonetheless,
Through her tears,
The destruction of ice.
A fog comes of dark water,
A strong foe indeed,
In the gale,
So must be the storm,
Swimming and talking secretly with the sea-demons

Comments

[Jararo]

Well, for my first poem ever, sounds good to me XD

[ElectraShocked]

it's kind of all over the place, if you know what I mean. It doesn't have a very good flow. The last sentence needs a little work. It's a blunt cutoff to an amazing poem. i give it a 4/5.

[foreverblue200]

umm wow.