Dark Temptations

• Artist: CoreyAceWatson
• Description: an older poem I wrote, please comment and tell me what you think :)
• Date: 03/29/2009
• Tags: dark temptations

The life..... The pain
the stress...... the strain
the things we awake for......
The lies......the crimes
the sin......the times
the things we die for.........

Dark Temptations are many things
but one who pulls a thousand strings..........

That look........I see
not fake.........reality
the things that have been taken from me......
My heart......impure
I have........no cure
the demented lash out at me........

Dark Temptations fills the mind
but if you look, what will you find?......

The shadow.........so dark
no light.........no spark
were still searching for a hope......
The future........the past
time flies.........so fast
were still trying to Cope...........

Dark Temptation, we have come
we are the sound of the war drum.......

Comments

[Slinkenhofer]

Dammit... I thought this was about chocolate. Not naivete.
It's like finding an empty bottle of milk in the fridge...

[_delted_--mfrag]

its kool

[Little Egypt kk]

I like it 5

[Agrikar the Hidden]

2nd stanza 2nd line, reality breaks a bit out of rhythm, I think. And the third time you say Dark Temptations, it isn't plural. (Unless you meant to do that, which is fine either way.) And the last line, a bit too short. You could make war into waring, which pulls it back into rhythm. Overall a good poem, and much better than anything the masses spit out... good job.