War Zone

• Artist: KaLo WoLf
• Description: dedicated to someone i know.
• Date: 03/07/2009
• Tags: zone

the field was full of them
the ones in green
the never ending sights
made his eyes keen
oh the stuff he has seen
you've got to be mean
to survive
to strive
to stay alive

the feild was full of them
the ones in green
this never ending battle
made his muscles large and his body lean
the pounding of his heart
was just the start
of the never ending battle
his lungs begin to rattle
you've got to be mean
to survive
to strive
to stay alive

the feild was full of them
the ones in green
this is what he always wanted to be
since he was young
and he held his first gun
oh how it fit
in his hands
and then he began to make his plans

the feild was full of them
the ones in green
oh the sights he has seen
makeing his eyes ever so keen
and his body strong and lean
you've got to be mean
to survive
to strive
to stay alive

Comments

[o_Onewpickle]

it does ryhme more than needed but would make an awesome song lol

[Pit1303]

great base poem. i think you should experiment with punctuation though, and maybe it rhymes a bit too much at the end, but its still very good work.
example of punctuation (if you dont mind me doing this) "and held his first gun, oh how it fit, in his hands" (just dont merge them to one line like i did)
also you may want to double check your spelling.
"field" not "feild" and "making" not "makeing"
i'm sorry if i seem sorta rude, i'm just trying to help.