Another

• Artist: Ambien Dreams
• Description: I wrote it during a time I felt so strongly about a cause. I guess, a cause in which I worked so hard for only to be left behind by my so called friends who turned my cause into something horrid. So I wrote this for them.
• Date: 07/17/2008
• Tags: angst life zombie babies omnomnom

i'd like to break the glass walls of this boundary between
the reality and delusion of a hope that i had held onto
shattered into the eyes of friends lost and dreams punctured through
it sinks down to
a belief so hazed it's blind to be seen
i will bleed onto the thirsty hearts of the thousands slaved for one moment just to belong to the same
and i would like to tell you that i never meant it to end this way
yet we kill to survive
we hate to love just so we can thrive
and all the ones who thought they knew all i had to say
am i the lie to make things right to wrong the ways
of the thousand excuses made every day
i know how to ruin what you hold dear
and to trap a thousand words and make them unclear
i am the twist in your heart and the
climax of your fall
i am what you love to call
jaded, faded and most of all degraded
i am what you've made me

Comments

[I_Kurea]

Well, whatever your cause was and whatever your "friends" did with it, I hope you have found new friends who appreciate you for what you do and do not manipulate what was supposedly good (I'm assuming). In a sense, this reminds me of Wicked (the book/musical) where Elphaba tries to good, but is mistakened by everyone and her good cause was turned to an evil one.

[r_viola]

love it. a little sad, but is from the heart.
<3

[ewgqewhadsfvrjg]

Although it is basically a free verse poem, I am a big fan of the despair filled images, the feelings expressed give so much emotion to the poem. A little work on the structure and this would be perfect.

Just the opinions and comments
of a friendly but overall perverted English Major

[Gymnastic]

O.o
I haven't learned much about poetry in school yet xd

But still, looks perfect to me... I mean, to ME xD

[Aerynna]

It runs smoothly, you avoided too much rhyme, and you basically summed up your point well...overall, this is a pretty awesome poem, Gabby.

With love and friendship,
Your friendly neighborhood English Major. xd

[Gamblin_gurl]

3rd comment ><
I love it Gab.
It's so sad... :huggies: